Why Does Ear Wax Taste So Gross? Read online

  DOUBLEDAY

  Contents

  Cover

  Title

  Copyright

  Dedication

  About the Author

  Also by Mitchell Symons

  First things first

  Pure trivia

  Unusual museums

  About average

  Animals

  Car bumper stickers

  The human body

  Around the world

  Announcements made by airline staff

  Creepy crawlies

  Fish

  The UK

  Birds

  Food and drink

  History

  Human beings

  Reptiles

  Science

  Sea life

  The way we live

  Things that are not what they seem or what you thought

  Animals

  Greatest Britons of all time?

  Creepy crawlies

  First 10 men in space

  Einstein

  London Zoo’s stars from the past

  Things said about zoos

  What a 10-stone (64kg) person would weigh elsewhere in our solar system

  The names we give to baby creatures

  Words

  Written by pupils in English essays

  Beards

  Celebrity anagrams

  Things you can order in an American diner . . .

  Words invented by Shakespeare

  Celebrities and what their mothers do/did for a living

  Birds

  People who got dogs from Battersea Dogs’ Home

  Singular Oscar achievements

  History

  Names famous people gave to their pets

  Things said about pets

  The Bible

  Only children

  Pure trivia

  Head boys and girls at school

  Animals

  Written by pupils in history essays

  Astronomy

  Dishes from around the world

  Some of Homer Simpson’s ‘lifelong dreams’

  Extraordinary frauds

  Weather

  Eurovision

  Around the world

  Invented by women

  Music

  The human body

  Non-drivers

  Amphibians

  Celebrity trivia

  Cartoons and animation

  Christmas

  Lipstick names

  US presidents

  Written by pupils in science tests

  Men who had airports named after them

  The names of things you didn’t know had names

  12 English icons

  The world

  Famous former buskers

  Celebrities who have owned pet rats

  Luxuries chosen on Desert Island Discs

  Odds against . . .

  The 10 distinct kinds of laughter

  Tomatoes

  The human condition

  Words of Yiddish or Jewish origin

  Clubs that supplied players to the England team

  Bingo calls

  Things from abroad

  Marine life

  Things that are brand names

  Toilets

  Onlys

  Pure Trivia

  Plants

  Wonderfully named characters from the world of Jeeves and Bertie Wooster, created by P. G. Wodehouse

  Army ranks and how they correspond in the navy and air force

  Animals that became verbs

  Animal adjectives

  Annual American events

  Former cheerleaders

  Britain’s favourite paintings

  Animals

  St George is the patron saint of . . .

  Sardines

  Some ‘Fathers’

  Food and drink

  Unintentionally funny newspaper headlines

  Around the world

  Wimbledon

  The London Underground

  The only British women singers who had US number ones

  Books

  Things said about books

  Palindromes

  American celebrities and their classmates’ ratings:

  Before fame

  Celebrity trivia

  Celebrities who launched their own products

  Bats

  Britain’s best-selling sandwich fillings

  Aliases used by celebrities

  Famous people who own islands

  United States

  Famous best friends

  Famous left-handers

  Accomplished roller-bladers

  Played themselves on The Simpsons

  Famous last words

  This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  Version 1.0

  Epub ISBN 9781407050669

  www.randomhouse.co.uk

  WHY DOES EAR WAX TASTE SO GROSS?

  A DOUBLEDAY BOOK 978 0 385 61570 9

  Published in Great Britain by Doubleday,

  an imprint of Random House Children’s Books

  A Random House Group Company

  This edition published 2009

  1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

  Copyright © Mitchell Symons, 2009

  Illustrations copyright © Artful Doodlers, 2009

  The right of Mitchell Symons to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

  The Random House Group Limited supports the Forest Stewardship Council (FSC), the leading international forest certification organization. All our titles that are printed on Greenpeace-approved FSC-certified paper carry the FSC logo. Our paper procurement policy can be found at www.rbooks.co.uk/environment.

  RANDOM HOUSE CHILDREN’S BOOKS 61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA

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  www.rbooks.co.uk

  Addresses for companies within The Random House Group Limited can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk/offices.htm

  THE RANDOM HOUSE GROUP Limited Reg. No. 954009

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc

  To Penny, Jack and Charlie,

  with love and thanks.

  Mitchell Symons was born in 1957 in London and educated at Mill House School and the LSE, where he studied law. Since leaving BBC TV, where he was a researcher and then a director, he has worked as a writer, broadcaster and journalist. He was a principal writer of early editions of the board game Trivial Pursuit and has devised many television formats. He is also the author of more than thirty books, and currently writes a weekly column for the Sunday Express.

  www.rbooks.co.uk

  Also by Mitchell Symons:

  Welcome to the fifth in a series of books that started with How to Avoid a Wombat’s Bum and then continued through Why Eating Bogeys Is Good for You, How Much Poo Does an Elephant Do? and Why Do Farts Smell
Like Rotten Eggs? to this one, Why Does Ear Wax Taste So Gross?

  The more perceptive reader will have noticed a trend developing. That’s right: every title relates to bodily parts/functions. But not the ‘clean’ ones – like arms or breathing – no, it’s naughty things like bums and poo and farting and all that sort of thing. The trouble is – and I’m letting you into a trade secret here – we’re running out of (ahem) ‘acceptable’ naughty things to put in the titles of the books. Hence the title of this book.

  Personally, I don’t think ear wax tastes so gross – well, mine doesn’t anyway. But my wonderful editor (who came up with the title) thinks ear wax definitely has the ‘yuck’ factor, especially when left for as long as a month before being picked! Besides, my editor did give me the opportunity to come up with a better title. Here are some of the ones I suggested:

  WHY OCTOPUSES EAT THEMSELVES THE BOY WHO PEED BEETLES WHAT YOU WOULD WEIGH ON OTHER PLANETS THE KING WHO HAD A SWEAR BOX WHY YOU CAN’T SNEEZE IN YOUR SLEEP THE MAN WHO ATE 128 BICYCLES HOW TO ESCAPE A CROCODILE

  As you’ll discover, all these titles – none of them as snappy as the one we went with – refer to facts in the book, which itself is a feast of trivia along the lines of How to Avoid a Wombat’s Bum and How Much Poo Does an Elephant Do? I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed compiling it.

  Now for some big thank yous because without these people, this book couldn’t have been written at all: (in alphabetical order) Luigi Bonomi, Lauren Buckland, Penny Chorlton, Annie Eaton, Mari Roberts and Nikalas Catlow.

  In addition, I’d also like to thank the following people for their help, contributions and/or support: Gilly Adams, Paul Donnelley, Jonathan Fingerhut, Jenny Garrison, Bryn Musson, Nicholas Ridge, Charlie Symons, Jack Symons, Louise Symons, David Thomas, Martin Townsend and Rob Woolley.

  If I’ve missed anyone out, then please know that – as with any mistakes in the book – it is, as ever, entirely down to my own stupidity.

  Mitchell Symons

  [email protected]

  First things first

  The first mobile phone text message was sent in December 1992.

  Ferenc Szisz from Romania, driving a Renault, won the very first Formula One Grand Prix, held at Le Mans, France, in 1906.

  Gold was the first metal to be discovered.

  The first Burger King restaurant – called Insta Burger King – opened in Miami in 1954.

  Lip gloss was first invented (by Max Factor in 1928) to make film actors’ lips shiny.

  In 1911, Bobby Leach, a British-born circus star, became the first man* to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and survive – although he ended up in hospital for 23 weeks. Fifteen years later, he died . . . after slipping on a piece of orange peel in New Zealand.

  Britain’s first Tube escalator was introduced at Earls Court in 1911. Wooden-legged ‘Bumper’ Harris was employed to travel up and down it to prove that it was safe.

  King Louis XV was the first person to use a lift when in 1743, his ‘flying chair’ carried him between the floors of his Versailles palace.

  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, is credited with being the first person to introduce skiing to Switzerland.

  The first elephant in England was a gift to King Henry III from the King of France in the 13th century.

  The first diet soft drink, called ‘The No-Cal Beverage’, was launched in 1952.

  Nottingham was the first city in the world to have Braille signs (for the blind) in its shopping malls.

  Britain’s first Indian restaurant opened more than 50 years before the first fish-and-chip restaurant.

  Julian Lloyd Webber was London Underground’s first official busker.

  When Iceland played Estonia in 1996, Eidur Gudjohnsen became the first player to replace his father (Arnor) on the pitch during an international match. Between them, he and his dad helped Iceland to win 3–0.

  In 2006 the Arctic Monkeys’ first album, Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, sold over a third of a million copies in its first week – making it the fastest-selling debut album in UK chart history.

  In 1978 Emilio Marco Palma became the first person to be born in Antarctica.

  The first automatic telephone exchange was invented in 1889 by an American undertaker, who wanted to prevent telephone operators from advising his rivals of the death of local citizens.

  The first prisoner in the Tower of London – Ranulf Flambard, Bishop of Durham, in 1100 – was also the first person to escape from it. He used a rope smuggled to him by friends in a cask of wine.

  Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, Britain’s first female doctor, was also Britain’s first female mayor (of Aldeburgh in Suffolk).

  In late 17th-century Paris, lemonade became the world’s first marketed soft drink.

  Captain James Cook was the first man to set foot on all continents (except Antarctica).

  The first message tapped by Samuel Morse over his invention the telegraph was: What hath God wrought?

  The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: Mary had a little lamb.

  The first people to write were the Sumerians in the fourth century BC.

  Rap artist Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs had his first job at age two when he modelled in an ad for Baskin-Robbins ice-cream shops.

  Mauve was the first synthetic dye.

  The world’s first self-service restaurant, the Exchange Buffet, opened in New York in 1885. Only men were allowed to eat there.

  In 1620, Dutch inventor Cornelius van Drebbel launched the world’s first submarine in the Thames. The first military submarine – the Turtle – was built in 1775.

  Britain’s first mobile phone call was made on 1 January 1985 by Ernie Wise (of Morecambe and Wise fame).

  Pamela Anderson was Canada’s Centennial Baby, having been the first baby born on the hundredth anniversary of Canada’s independence.

  The first instance of global electronic communications took place in 1871 when news of the Derby winner was telegraphed from London to Calcutta in under five minutes.

  *… but not the first person. That was Annie Edson Taylor, a 63-year-old teacher, in 1901.

  Pure trivia

  Steven Spielberg has never had a cup of coffee in his life.

  A Frenchman named Michel Lotito has eaten 128 bicycles, 15 supermarket trolleys, 6 chandeliers, 2 beds and 1 pair of skis.

  Postman Pat supports Pencaster United.

  The world’s longest engagement lasted 67 years. Octavio Guillen and Adriana Martinez were 15 when they got engaged, and 82 on their wedding day.

  Aristotle thought that blood cooled the brain.

  The chihuahua is the world’s smallest breed of dog, but it’s named after the biggest state in Mexico.

  Lord Byron had four pet geese that he took with him everywhere he went.

  The NASDAQ stock exchange in New York City was totally disabled on one day in December 1987 when a squirrel burrowed through a telephone line.

  If all the Lego in the world was evenly distributed, we would each receive 30 pieces.

  There is an infinite number of colours.

  The people killed most often during bank robberies are the robbers.

  In 1961 the Museum of Modern Art in New York City hung Matisse’s Le Bateau upside-down for 47 days before an art student noticed the error.

  It used to be against the law to slam your car door in Swiss cities.

  In 1969 a Finnish farmer was cutting wood when, in the middle of a log, he found a dried fish.

  Native Americans used to name their children after the first thing they saw following the birth – hence such names as Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull.

  The world’s largest stamp was issued by China at the beginning of the last century. It measured 210 x 65mm.

  Romans used powdered mouse brains as toothpaste.

  One year, Elvis Presley paid 91 per cent of his income to the US Internal Revenue Service. However, at one point in the 1960s, The
Beatles were even worse off – paying more than 100 per cent tax. This meant that effectively they were paying to work.

  Medieval Welsh mercenary archers only wore one shoe at a time.

  Unusual museums

  The Salt Museum (Northwich)

  The Strawberry Museum (Wepion, Belgium)

  The Norwegian Canning Museum (Stavanger, Norway)

  The Sardine Museum (Sète, France)

  The Toilet Seat Art Museum (San Antonio, Texas)

  The Mustard Museum (Mount Horeb, Wisconsin)

  The British Lawnmower Museum (Southport)

  The Matchbox Museum (Tomar, Portugal)

  The Vinegar Museum (Roslyn, South Dakota)

  The Ham Museum (near Neufchâteau, France)

  The Centre for Unusual Museums (Munich, Germany)

  The Cumberland Pencil Museum (Keswick)

  The Banana Museum (Martinique)

  About average

  In a lifetime, the average person will …

  … shed 57 litres of tears.

  … eat 3,000 meals of spaghetti bolognese.

  … eat over 13,000 eggs.

  … eat 10,000 chocolate bars.

  … eat 35 tons of food.

  … eat 36 pigs, 36 sheep, 8 cows and over 500 chickens.

  … have 7,163 baths.

  … walk 100,000 miles.

  … blink 500,000,000 (five hundred million) times.

  Animals

  The golden bamboo lemur eats half a kilo of bamboo every day. This contains more than enough cyanide to kill a human being. No one knows why this doesn’t kill the lemur. The word ‘lemur’ is derived from the Latin lemures, meaning ‘spirits of the night’ or ‘ghosts’.

  Unusually for carnivores, hyena clans are dominated by females.